


Gotten

by princess_mouse



Category: Guns N' Roses
Genre: Fights, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Memories, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 19:55:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10043606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princess_mouse/pseuds/princess_mouse
Summary: Do not make me think of him,The way he touched your fragile skin.That haunts me everyday.





	

The cold night air stung his face but he forced himself to stand on the balcony. He needed fresh air, something more natural to fill his lungs then nicotine. His hands shook from nerves and lack of drugs. Body thrumming for a fix but his brain screaming to stay clean. 

His brain berated him, reminding him he’d been clean for two months. He was clean for himself but also for Axl. His sweet Axl, who couldn’t even look at him right now. 

_“He’s doing ok,” Duff said softly on the phone. He was trying not to wake up Steven._

_Slash’s hand ran through his hair nervously. Izzy wouldn’t talk to him. Why would he?_

_Duff was guarded the whole call. He’d been neutral to the whole situation. Knew it wasn’t his place to take sides when Steven and he were struggling. He knew Axl was in pain, wrestling with demons. He gave Slash the answers he needed but nothing more._

_“I want to see him,” Slash lamented. He knew Duff didn’t want to get involved. There was a sudden shift and he heard Duff cooing to Steven, reassuring him he was okay, and that he was there._

_Clearing his throat Duff said his final words, “Axl loves you more than you love him. Make it right.”_

It had always been true. Axl loved him unconditionally, almost painfully. Putting all his love and trust into Slash, breaking down his walls and becoming vulnerable only to get hurt. To feel the wordy daggers being thrown at him and physical pain from being hit. 

It was a terrible memory. A drug infused rage where he screamed in Axl’s face. He’d slammed the redhead into a wall and when Axl tried to push him way; Slash had hit him. Slash couldn’t stop slapping the crying redhead. He was sick of the attitude and being told he had a drug problem. Izzy and Duff had to peel him away from Axl who was covered in blood and sobbing. Steven swooping in to get him away from the drug fueled brunette. 

_“Axl?” Slash whispered into the silence of the hotel room. His head hurt and he was shaking. Was he cold? How’d he get back to the hotel?_

_Axl’s breathing hitched. “Go back to sleep,” his voice had cracked and betrayed him. It was enough to tell the sobering Slash that Axl was crying._

_He tried to pull Axl into his chest but the redhead resisted, so he snuggled up as close as he could. He didn’t touch, he stayed close as Axl cried himself to sleep._

_Slash had no memory at the moment of what happened but he assumed at the time Axl was just moody._

It hurt when Axl wouldn’t meet his gaze. The way he gently said, _“I love you, but you need to sort this out.”_ Then pressed his swollen, split lips against his forehead, giving him a small kiss before asking him to leave. Seeing Axl’s face bruised and swollen because of him made Slash feel worthless. Axl’s voice was filled with pain and defeat, not strong and boisterous like it usually was. 

Slash had left the tour, left their home, and stayed with friends. There weren’t many people who didn’t know about what happened. Izzy instantly distanced himself to be closer to Axl, while Duff and Steven stayed out of it completely. He was nervous leaving his snakes at the house but Axl had reassured him that they were safe and he was taking care of them. 

He knew Axl still loved him if he was willing to feed Pandora, Bonnie, and Clyde while he was off sorting out his problems. His boyfriend feared snakes, absolutely hated them but for Slash he did his best with them. He tried to hold them and appreciate them like Slash did, and that was all he could ask of Axl even if he was scared. 

_“I can come get them,” Slash said in a panic. He was in withdrawal and paranoid. He didn't mean to wake Axl up in the middle of the night but it weighed on his soul that his pets weren’t with him._

_Axl listened to his paranoid ramblings about the snakes. He let Slash get it all off his chest before he interjected. “They’re fine. I read your feeding schedule on the calendar and fed them,” he said tiredly. It was almost 2:30 am._

_“You fed the snakes?” Slash was surprised to hear that from the one person who feared them the most._

_Axl was exhausted, he wanted to go back to sleep but hearing Slash’s voice brought him some ease. “I did it for you, doesn’t mean I’m in love with the idea,” Axl rasped out. The sound of sheets shuffling could be heard in the background._

_“Clyde is an asshole, just so you're aware of that,” Axl said sleep heavy in his voice but from the sounds of all the shuffling meant he was getting out of bed. Probably to sit in the chair by the window. The place he would always go when he had nightmares or couldn’t sleep._

_Slash couldn’t help but laugh at that statement, “Why, what happened?”_

_“He tried to bite me,” Axl said seriously. His tone wavering between pissed off and scared._

_That was the usual reaction Clyde had with everyone. He usually would bite others but he’d never tried to bite Axl. “I’m sorry, baby. I really appreciate you taking care of them though,” he said sincerely. Of all the rotten things he had done in the past week and a half, he didn’t deserve Axl’s love or kindness._

_“He’s lucky I love you so much or he’d be made into a belt,” Axl said laughing lightly._

_Silence soon filled the phone line. Neither of them knew what to say._

_“I miss you,” Axl whispers into the phone. His voice was weak, hiding that he was probably tearing up._

_Slash felt his heart spasm in his chest, “I miss you too, luv.”_

They hadn’t talked a lot after that call. 

Axl wrote to him three times. Small letters about the snakes and how he wrote a new song. Sincere wishes that Slash was getting better and how much he missed him around the house. He said Izzy was being overly protective and that was why he wasn’t calling. He was worried about Duff and Steven. Bonnie got loose and scared Axl half to death (thank heavens for Izzy being there to handle it). Not once did he bring up the concert and what happened. Axl’s letters were both a blessing and a curse. Something to tug at Slash’s emotions as he read them. 

Slash wrote him back more then Axl wrote to him but some days it was hard not being together.

Getting to sit together in the same room, Axl reading and lounging sleepily in the living room as Slash played guitar. Axl’s perfect body beneath his in the bed they’d shared for five years. The way Axl’s face would scrunch up when Slash asked him to hold one of his snakes. Axl sitting at the piano playing through a melody he had stuck in his head for years and still can’t find the words for. The way he’d look up and catch Axl’s weirdly blue green eyes looking at him before a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. 

_“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” Slash asked one day._

_That small smile pulled at the corners of Axl’s mouth. His eyes went half lidded as he spoke, “Because you’re beautiful.”_

_Slash laughed at the comment. There was no one as beautiful as Axl Rose in his world. But when Axl looked up at him, Slash saw it; pure love, and devotion was written all over the redhead’s face._

_“I love you,” Slash said feeling his own face soften and become readable._

_They had just come home from tour and it was their first week alone without anyone ewhing and awhing over them. Axl kept looking at him with all the love in the world and Slash never wanted him to stop._

Slash would reread the letters. His wallet was full of photos of Axl, which he looked at regularly to remind himself why he was trying to sober up. His memory filled with mental images and all the little sounds Axl made. His favorite photos being one of Axl covering up his naked body with a pillow and a photo of them together at a shoot, where Slash had rested his head on Axl’s shoulder and the redhead looked genuinely happy. He had other photos tucked away like photos of Axl playing the piano or him dressed in his Welcome to the Jungle outfit.

_“Saul!” Axl shrieked when he saw the camera pointed at him._

_He was naked as the day he was born but he grabbed a pillow before Slash got a photo of his body._

_Slash couldn’t stop smiling, “Common, William.”_

_“Don’t call me that,” Axl said making a face. “Come back to bed,” he said smiling seductively. Slash snapped a photo of him before tossing the camera aside._

Slash moved from the balcony and back into the room he was occupying at Myles’ house. It was too late to call Axl tonight. It was already past midnight and he knew his boyfriend would be asleep. On tour it was all about partying to the early hours of morning but at home they had a routine, they would sit down together for meals and go to bed around midnight. They savoured all their time together at home because touring was limited. Squished into small bunks, no sex (unless they wanted everyone else to hear them), not a lot of privacy unless they were in a hotel or a room on the plane – which was sometimes very rare. It made Slash laugh to himself realizing Axl was shy. Everyone knew they had sex and could be unbelievably loud in the process but it was a modest act for Axl. He was respectable and didn’t want to subject their friends to that on a tour bus (unlike Duff and Steven who had no shame and had sex if they wanted). 

He missed the smaller body that cuddled up against him and leeched his heat. He missed Axl’s soft pale skin and velvety hair that would cascade in a halo around him. Everyday away from Axl was another reason to stay clean. Those horrible memories from the night he became extremely angry and the next day how Axl asked him to leave seared his memory. 

_Why did he feel like he was close to death?_

_Was it the drugs or his conscious?_

_Myles held his hair back while he vomited and said nothing about Axl or the fight._

_“Writing would help,” Myles suggested as they sat in the living room jamming one day._

_Slash was trying to put all his thoughts and withdrawal into playing his guitar. “Like writing new guitar parts for Guns or writing for myself?”_

_“Yourself, Axl, the band. Point is, you need to focus on something other than your drug problem and what happened to Axl,” Myles said sympathetically.  
_

The room was filled with music again and Slash felt his mind racing. He’d spent his sleepless nights writing down lyrics and his days figuring out melodies on the guitar. As always, Myles was right. 

Slash laid down on his bed and sleep came easily. Every dream he had was happy memories of his childhood or the people he loved. The odd nightmare plagued him but he was genuinely more relaxed. He hoped to talk to Axl when he woke up. 

**

Axl lay awake that night.

He was cold and restless, every night he wanted to call Slash and beg him to come home. Even going to the effort to sleep on Slash’s side of the bed or burying himself into one of Slash’s shirts only brought him so much comfort. 

In a sick way, he forgave his boyfriend the next morning after the fight. It was Izzy and Duff who were pleading with him not to sweep it under the rug. 

_“Ax, he hit you,” Duff said, his eyes pleading for Axl to understand._

_Izzy stood silently in the hall of the hotel observing and listening as Duff tried to reason with the smaller man._

_Axl chewed lightly at his lip, hand running nervously through his hair, and eyes focused down on his feet. “I know Duff, but he needs help. I can’t leave him like that,” he whimpered._

_Duff and Izzy saw the wounded pride. The redhead could be a real force to reckon with or almost childlike in his passive nature._

_“I want you to be happy, Axl,” Izzy finally spoke. “If Slash is the person who makes you happy then you both need to sort this out, you can’t just forgive him and let this slide though. He needs to know what he’s doing has hurt you and your relationship.”_

_“Tell him you love him but he needs to go sort things out by himself,” Duff choked out. Everyone was aware of the struggle Steven and Duff were having with their own relationship and drug problems. Steven was a mess and Duff was falling apart trying to keep him alive. “Be stronger than me,” Duff said scrubbing violently at his eyes._

_They stood in the hallway for what seemed like forever, silence thick in the air, and no words left to exchange. Duff was drawn back to his room when Steven came out to him all teary eyed and shaking. Izzy remained in comfortable silence with Axl, he fretted over the forming bruises, and pulled him into a hug._

_Axl was pushing away and Izzy knew when to let go._

Izzy had stayed by his side through some of the hardest days. The days where he missed Slash or when he had to feed those serpents that his boyfriend adored so much. It didn’t matter if he was melting down in a foul mood or crying his eyes out, his best friend was sitting there with him. Izzy only snuck off a few times to give Duff a break from caring for Steven but he remained with Axl for the most part. 

He was thankful for Izzy (who was now over at Duff’s again). 

Axl got as much sleep as he could get, even though he had rolled around his bed all night. It had been two months, he was ready for Slash to come home. He hoped that his boyfriend was ready to come home too. He forced himself to get up and be a responsible adult. It felt like he was trying to distract himself till it was late enough in the morning to call Myles’ house. 

He played with his food, poking the bacon he made into the eggs sunny side up on his plate. He repeated this habit with his toast as well. It would drive Slash crazy watching him play with his food. 

_“Eat your food instead of playing with it,” Slash chided._

_They were having one of their last breakfasts before heading out on tour._

_Axl was deep in his head, his mind racing over tearing up during sex. He had a rough day thinking about the past and the emotional outburst had triggered during sex. Playing with his food was one way to distract himself from his overactive mind._

_“Shortcake, you okay over there?” Slash was now looking at him from across the table with a worried look._

_Taking a bite of food finally, he forced himself to smile. Slash didn’t deserve to hear about his past again, they were here. The pain and memories would pass (eventually)._

The silence in the house was deafening. Axl cleaned up the mess of food on his plate and bustled around the house cleaning. He sat down at the piano and played through a song he’d been working on for years till he decided to get ready for the day. 

It was only noon but Axl found himself clinging desperately to the phone as he waited for someone to pick up at Myles’ house. He was curled up in his chair, the one made for good or bad news, or evaluating his life. 

“Hello?” a voice said on the other end of the line. 

Axl’s mouth was getting dry but he managed to get some words out, “Hey Myles, it’s Axl. Can I talk to Slash, please?” 

There was muffled talking on the end of the line which he assumed was Myles talking to Slash. 

“Hey sweetie, you ok?” Slash said concerned. Myles had warned him Axl sounded a little upset on the phone. 

Axl shifted in his spot and cleared his throat. “Hey, I’m fine just have a scratchy throat,” he clarified. His emotions were already getting the better of him.

Slash moved from the living room and up to his room. He was both surprised and excited that Axl had called him. “You sick?”

“I had the flu a week ago, I’m better now. Don’t worry,” Axl reassured him. Izzy had brought home Duff and Steven’s sickness. 

By instinct Slash was still worried. he didn’t like hearing his Axl was sick and potentially suffering. “I could have come home Ax, you know I don’t mind taking care of you when you’re sick,” his voice was laced with sympathy and compassion.

It was touching and it made Axl laugh weakly, “This was pretty gross, I think we’d be reaching a new step in our relationship.” 

“Oh, so a bonding experience for us. You know I’d do anything for you especially after you took care of my babies,” Slash joked lightly. He was playing with one of his curls as he talked, he knew Axl couldn’t see him but it was a habit he had when he was flirty. 

Axl could feel the red rising in his cheeks, silent tears ran down his cheeks. “I want you to come home,” Axl found himself blurting. His fingers wiped away the tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Ax, are you sure?”

“Slash, get your ass home before I come down there and get you myself,” Axl threatened. He knew he would become an emotional mess when he saw his boyfriend finally.

It caught Slash off guard how brash Axl was in the moment but he could already feel his heart racing in his chest. He was going home! “I’ll be there in an hour, ok?” 

**

Slash was packing up all his clothes when Myles entered the room. He observed what was going on and sat down on the bed.

“Saul, I want to wish you the best of luck. I hope you and Axl are going to be in a better place because of your recovery,” Myles said sincerely.

Myles helped him pack and they exchanged niceties. Slash would always be grateful for Myles taking him in when he needed a home.

The drive felt like it was taking forever. Traffic was backed up a bit which made Slash anxious. He knew this would be an emotional reunion. Whenever Axl and Izzy ventured home to Lafayette the reunion would be much needed. Izzy would walk Axl up to the door and gently deposit him back into Slash’s arms. 

_Tears poured down Axl’s cheeks as he pushed past Slash. He retreated off to the bedroom._

_“Izzy?” Slash started with curiosity._

_That soft look Izzy always had for Axl was there. Sympathetic and loving, a true brother and friend. “Stephen wasn’t exactly kind and Axl didn’t get to see his mom,” Izzy said sadly. “We stayed at my mom’s the whole time.”_

_Slash thanked Izzy for bringing his precious cargo back and they went their separate ways._

_Upstairs Slash found Axl curled up on the bed. He approached with caution but he knew his boyfriend wouldn’t mind him cuddling him. “I’m glad you’re home,” Slash whispered, his lips pressed a kiss into Axl’s hair._

_The redhead’s little chest heaved and the small sobs were muffled into the pillow._

_“I missed you while you were gone, Shortcake,” Slash tried again. He would keep trying till Axl finally turned around to face him. He would pepper his face with kisses and wipe away the tears._

_When Axl finally rolled over, he let Slash fix his pain. “I missed you too,” was all he managed but it was enough._

Whenever they were apart they itched to be back together. Slash couldn’t wait to hold Axl’s face in his hands and run his thumbs over those sharp cheekbones. He would leave kisses on that beautiful pale skin and watch a blush paint his cheeks. He loved the way Axl would smile up at him and stand on his tiptoes to kiss him. 

Slash felt his lips tug into a small smile. He couldn’t wait to get home. 

**

Axl nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the door being unlocked. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking from anticipation. His hair was a mess from running his fingers through his long hair nervously. He’d waited sixty days for this moment and his legs decided to fail him. He forced his legs to move so he could greet his curly haired God.

“Ax-“ Slash called into the landing of the house. 

He didn’t know what triggered it but Axl went running from the living room when he heard Slash’s voice. “SAUL!”

Slash dropped his bag and opened his arms up to the redhead, who slammed into him at quite a jarring force. They enveloped each other in a bone breaking hug. The smell of Slash’s cologne and Marlboro filled his nose and he took deep breaths in. The silky sheen of Axl’s hair was in Slash’s face but he didn’t care, he had missed everything about it. 

“Let me look at you,” Slash said trying to push Axl back a bit but the smaller man clung on tighter. There was no way in his stubborn world that he was going to let go just yet. 

Axl didn’t want Slash to see that his eyes had started to water. He could feel his chest starting to get tight and constrict like one of Slash’s snakes. He needed to hold on long enough to know this was all real. 

“You’re going to cry, aren’t you?” Slash teased lightly. He managed to get a look at Axl who was burying his face into a mass of curls.  


There was no hiding the redness of Axl’s cheeks. “I will not!” the redhead screeched. 

Slash’s gentle pushing finally registered with the smaller man and he backed away a bit. Calloused fingers traced at sharp cheekbones and thumbs swiped away the odd tear that cascaded down Axl’s beautiful pale cheeks. Slash studied his lover’s face. There were no bruises or damage left from that night. Leaning down slightly, Slash peppered kisses to every part of Axl’s face that he had hurt. His lips carefully found Axl’s for a kiss. 

“I wrote you a song,” Slash whispered when they broke apart. “I know sorry isn’t enough Ax. What I did to you and our relationship was, it was-“

Axl pressed his finger to Slash’s plush lips, “It was an accident, you hear me? I’m past being mad at you and I know words aren’t your strong suit; so, I want you to play me the song you wrote then get the hell upstairs.” 

**

“You just get me, like I’ve never been gotten before,” Slash gently strummed the last chord of the song. 

The room was silent and Axl was staring at him intently, his expression unreadable. They had been staring intently at each other the whole five minutes Slash serenaded him. 

“I know I am not much of a singer,” Slash explained nervously. 

Axl’s face softened due to the comment, “It’s such a beautiful song, Saul. I really like it.” 

Slash didn’t know what came over him but he was showing Axl two other song’s he had written. There were other things they could be doing but here they were, sitting together in the living room bonding over music. Axl was looking at him with all the adoration in his being.

“You’re beautiful,” Slash said when he caught Axl looking at him. 

The redhead’s cheeks turned bright red. “I love you,” he said as he crossed the room to drag Slash upstairs.

**

“I’m going to be so sore,” Axl complained as he snuggled into Slash’s side. He didn’t care if his body hurt. This was the type of hurt that he wanted to feel for a few days. A physical memory of Slash’s return and his body next to his. 

Slash chuckled, “I’ll take care of you.”

The smaller man could hardly stay awake, the warmth of his lover’s body next to his lulled him towards sleep. “Can you sing me the song,” Axl mumbled out, sleep heavy in his voice. 

“So nice to see your face again,” Slash sung quietly. He could feel the calm rise and fall of Axl’s chest against his side and he knew his luv was asleep. “Tell me how long it’s been, since you’ve been here,” he pressed a soft kiss to Axl’s temple. 

“You look so different than before, but still the person I adore.”

**Author's Note:**

> Here is my first post in this fandom and of 2017! So be kind!
> 
> To quickly clarify Italics are flashbacks/memories.


End file.
